i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Oh god it's open bar.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
