I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
