best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
