I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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