So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
