it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
