i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
