i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
