lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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