found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
