let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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