it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
