Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
