Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
