Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
