try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
