i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
