So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize