I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
