Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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