i would punch a child for taco bell
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
