tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
