How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
