ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
