I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I need to stop coming to work sober
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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