he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
