i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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