Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
