i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
accomplished twins. life is a go
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
