My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Text me some of your sweat
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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