I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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