Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
