It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
