i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
