You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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