We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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