I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
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I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
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Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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