I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
