Just fell off a train. Bad.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
