i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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