About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
