Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
