So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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