Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
