I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
