hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Randomize
