no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
