Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
