Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
