Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
