I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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