Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My penis needs a shock collar
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
