Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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