You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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