yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
where are you?
Hypothermia
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
