He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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