Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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