I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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